Some advice
Hi all..this advice
I am about to give pertains mainly to women..and I will tell you why later. Okay..for all the younger women out there..pay heed! If you ever have to go to the bathroom whilst you are out of your own home....please do so. If you ever have to pee whilst standing in line...get out of the line, and do so. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances 'hold your pee'! Now, this message is mostly for women because men can pee anywhere..they don't have to even get close to any unsanitary toilet seat..some can stand four feet away (well, maybe not..I really don't know.). But, we have to place ourselves in a squatting position..and whether we actually sit on the seat or just 'hover over it'..we are close!!!
That is my theory as to why women don't like public washrooms. Well, that is why I don't like public washrooms, and in my youth I would hold on forever. I could almost go all day at work without going to the bathroom. Now, the consequences of this 'holding in' are dire. Dire, dire, dire.
Because...when you reach the glorious age of 61 (ack)..you will be in trouble.
Oh yes...deep trouble..because you will find out....that you cannot hold your pee!!!!! You wake up in the middle of the night..and have to pee...and you run as fast as you can...but there are dribbles! Oh yes....dribbles! Same thing first thing in the morning...before you even open your eyes..you know you have to pee...but you're only half awake...and then next thing you're running with your legs crossed (which does no good by the way)..and you dribble.
So to all the young women out there...if you have to pee...do it! Right away! Don't wait. Just do it!
Well, that's my advice for the day. Men are lucky...they don't have that problem....they can pee anywhere....they don't have to sit or squat!
Oh..another thing I'd like to mention. I have to shave my face now! Hairs are growing out of my chin and over my lip! That is why I don't wear makeup anymore.
My reasoning is this. Women wear makeup and men shave. If I have to both shave and then put on makeup....well that's just not fair! I refuse to do both..and since if I don't shave, the makeup will hang off my face hairs in a very disgusting manner..I have decided..no makeup. Shaving is enough!
Be thankful if you reach 61(ack)..but do not glorify it! Hehehehehehehehe.
Lots of love to my blog friends and family....adios.
I am about to give pertains mainly to women..and I will tell you why later. Okay..for all the younger women out there..pay heed! If you ever have to go to the bathroom whilst you are out of your own home....please do so. If you ever have to pee whilst standing in line...get out of the line, and do so. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances 'hold your pee'! Now, this message is mostly for women because men can pee anywhere..they don't have to even get close to any unsanitary toilet seat..some can stand four feet away (well, maybe not..I really don't know.). But, we have to place ourselves in a squatting position..and whether we actually sit on the seat or just 'hover over it'..we are close!!!That is my theory as to why women don't like public washrooms. Well, that is why I don't like public washrooms, and in my youth I would hold on forever. I could almost go all day at work without going to the bathroom. Now, the consequences of this 'holding in' are dire. Dire, dire, dire.
Because...when you reach the glorious age of 61 (ack)..you will be in trouble.
Oh yes...deep trouble..because you will find out....that you cannot hold your pee!!!!! You wake up in the middle of the night..and have to pee...and you run as fast as you can...but there are dribbles! Oh yes....dribbles! Same thing first thing in the morning...before you even open your eyes..you know you have to pee...but you're only half awake...and then next thing you're running with your legs crossed (which does no good by the way)..and you dribble.
So to all the young women out there...if you have to pee...do it! Right away! Don't wait. Just do it!
Well, that's my advice for the day. Men are lucky...they don't have that problem....they can pee anywhere....they don't have to sit or squat!
Oh..another thing I'd like to mention. I have to shave my face now! Hairs are growing out of my chin and over my lip! That is why I don't wear makeup anymore.
My reasoning is this. Women wear makeup and men shave. If I have to both shave and then put on makeup....well that's just not fair! I refuse to do both..and since if I don't shave, the makeup will hang off my face hairs in a very disgusting manner..I have decided..no makeup. Shaving is enough!
Be thankful if you reach 61(ack)..but do not glorify it! Hehehehehehehehe.
Lots of love to my blog friends and family....adios.
posted by Tuffysmom at 6:28 PM
10 Comments:
Okay, I am sitting here reading your blog and I am laughing so much that I have to pee, but once I get in a few lines I realize that I shouldn't keep reading before going to pee since that is exactly what you are talking about!!! LOL!!
I find that the worst part of being a teacher is the whole bathroom issue... Sometimes my students JUST come into class and are hyper and you know that if you go and pee right then your class is probably going to explode into the hallways and run around yelling like maniacs until you get back... I have to hold it, or face the consequence of ticked off colleagues! It's a tough battle to wage, but I will certainly keep it in mind, and I sincerely thank you for this advice!!
I am typing this while still laughing!! You rock!!
G.
You're finally catching up to me!!! I'll never forget Ralph Smith in Milton School, decades ago, standing at my desk while I was marking his work, "Mrs. Amon, You have a moustache!!"
As for peeing, I've always blamed it on four kids, I have to try to block all exits whenever I sneeze or cough!! And I mean all exits??
Oh Goodness..no one has actually come out and said I have a moustache..yikes! As for the 'pee' thing Northernlights..take heed..you are young now..but someday you will be 61(ack). And I wasn't really talking about 'peeing' Right Away..Just don't wait All Day! I used to come home from work and run right into the bathroom ripping off pantyhose and underwear and just barely making it! Hehehehe. Men are so damn lucky!
James just evicted from the Big Brother house!!!!
Funny post - my trip up there is for the Labor Day weekend - not this weekend. Opps - gotta go pee...hahaaa
I once read that someone had come up with some sort of tubular device which a woman could hold in place and pee standing up just like a man. Why not get your inventive heads together and perfect such aa gadget. Of course women's underwear would have to be modified with an opening in front, like a man's, and their slacks could have a zippered fly installed. You could have a contest for the best name for the thing, such as a Peeness, or Dinkette.
Traveling Man, you are so naughty- I can't believe we're having this conversation, but, I for one, am not suffering from "peeenis envy", unlike Tuffysmom!!!!!
Oh my God.....now I am laughing so hard I have to pee. And hey Nannan, I am not suffering from "peeness envy (am I?). Dickette...I love it! Too funny!
Ladies- if you went camping in the winter like I do, and have to do the pee thing while balancing over the snow and trying to hold your snow pants out of the stream, well, you would see the value in this discussion... Let me know if anyone creates this wonderful invention!!
I would buy some for sure!!
G.
Time for a new postie sister!!
This is too funny!!!!
I love the Dinkette.
Now I know how you feel about the morning..For me its running up 10 steps,tripping over the dog and cat,and praying I don't fall.Because if I do "it will be bad" heheehhehe.
Your friend Cheryl
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